Here
- Tammi
Wouldn't it be Nice?
And what makes it so much worse it's that the people you were there for, the ones who were crying, who were depressed, and you dropped all to stay by their side, suddenly turn their back on you.
And all you can do is stare helplessly as they smile and walk away.
"Remember me? I was there... when you were sad, I was there... when you were alone, I was there, when you cried... I was there..."
"Remember? Remember me?"
Michelle... Judith... Come back soon, life sucks without you guys.
Listen; The stars speak.
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Running
Do you think we'll make it?
Hold on, way too tight and just let it all go...
Watch it hit the ground
And shatter into a million pieces
Impact brings about a cloud of tiny little fragments
Like a spray of water droplets
Reflecting a thin membrane of a rainbow...
I can't fix it. Can you?
Listen; The stars speak.
Monday, May 23, 2005
Drop it Like it's Hot
Just hold on to me.
And If I slip and let go,
If I break and fall behind,
Promise me:
You will never look back.
Why is there a stigma attached to anything I've ever wanted to be:
Just plain simple happy.
It's times like these when your true friends emulsify.
Should I question my actions? Obviously you guys think I've done something wrong.
Before anyone knew anything the world seemed so simple; there was laughter, there was sunshine and most of all there was no pretence.
Now even the sun sulks behind a thin veil of cloud.
I feel hated. I feel hurt. But I forget that at this stage of my life I am not supposed to feel anything.
It's okay.
I'm okay with you guys just walking off soundlessly as soon as he appears.
I'm okay with you just pointing me nonchalantly in his direction whenever I greet or wave at you.
I'm okay with you leaving me all alone after school because you assume that he is just a phone call away from me.
In other words, I have probably developed to the point where I am now completely...
...disposable.
Kenneth was one of the few who stood beside me all the way, and that's why there was no way I could leave him alone...
I feel lost and distraught. I'm trying to grab hold of everything but it's just slipping through the cracks of my fingers, streaming down my knuckles and my wrists...
"How does it feel? To be...different from me... Are we the same?"
Listen; The stars speak.
Saturday, May 21, 2005
Trash Talking
Well I can just take that beautiful image, chew on it, spit it down and flush it down the toliet bowl continuously till it dissolves in the wet.
I came to school today innocent and with my ankle in a cast, completely unaware of the impending doom that would befall me. Little did I know that I was swept off my feet and forced into a stiff starched tie done up all the way to my throat, two pigtails and a random pair of black emo glasses.
Welcome to Wednesday, A2's NERD day.
Being A2 we surely live up to our name, A2=AA (Attract Attention). The whole group of us walked together, shoulders slouched and buck teeth sticking out. Mumuring chemical equations and mathematical formulas under our breaths. It was ridiculously embarrassing... To one point we were on the verge of cornering and ambushing a real nerd and chant "One of us...one of us..." as we huddled over her and breathed down her neck...
Too bad some brainless dickheads didn't get the joke and thought we were acting cute. Cute!? The thought of it! Please, looks are not important to us, now studies, that's a different matter, one mark less than a hundred percent and it would throw us into a state of hyperventiliation.
Or like JunYee said, we're naturally cute, cannot help it. HahaZ. Speaking of which even the guys went all out and flattened their hair, donned specs and pulled their pants all the way up to their waist and beyond. Can't believe my class is so amazingly sporting. Even Miss Tang put her hair into two ponytails, or so I've heard, but unfortunately I don't think it made her look any smarter...
At least it's over and done with and it's a whole week to another 24-hours of being stared at like a freak, pointed and laughed at and guys walking past me smirking and putting their fists by either side of their head.
But you have to admit it was entertaining and it did boost school/ class spirit.
Those people out there who thinks it's some kind of publicity stunt, it's really just a joke, for everyone to laugh at... that's what people need in these times of stress and exams, just plain non-skeptical/ non-cynical humour. The heavier the soul the thicker the dosage.
Listen; The stars speak.
Thursday, May 19, 2005
How to Make a Me
| How to make a Lin Tianni Tammi |
| Ingredients: 5 parts intelligence 5 parts arrogance 5 parts leadership |
| Method: Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Top it off with a sprinkle of wisdom and enjoy! |
Listen; The stars speak.
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Sunrise, sunrise, looks like mornin in your eyes...
Was really fun, did dumb things like ride on the luggage trolley. Brought back memories of when I was just a kid and we went to the airport to wait for dad whenever he came back from his business trips. And he would lift me up and prop me one of of his large samsonites, with my feet dangling on either side of large bulk and I would reach forward and yank impatiently at the metal barrier at the front of the trolley and pretend I was speed-racing.
Then we went to Terminal One's viewing gallery cause Terminal Two's was under construction. And we sat there and watched the sunrise from behind the drab grey rain clouds, and the air was heavy and wet from the rain the previous night and the whole sky was a bluish grey, dappled with hints of tamrine and violet... really gorgeous...
And the bus ride there was through the heavy rain with kenneth and it was really scary because the rain was so big and the windows were just engulfed by a sheet of cascading water and I felt as if I was in a scene fron "The Day After Tommorow". Then we saw a huge bright light strike a piece of the tar road right in front of as and the whole frame of the bus shook with the impact and the roar of the thunder. And kenneth being the science student proceeded to explain the concept of lightning to me using the theory of electrons... nice...
And I feel so guilty because Pam had no money and I told her to get a ticket stub because I thought ticket stubs were only a dollar plus. But then she messaged me and told me they were $2.50 but I didn't notice her sms and so we didn't alight at the terminal 2 bus stop. And now she's sick... >_<>
*dies*
Listen; The stars speak.
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Try to Walk Away and I Stumble...
There's just so many thing I've been meaning to spill out.
That day during lit tutorial our group was dissecting the attraction between opposite personalities. I admit I got a bit caught up in showing my utmost support that it ended up with me stumbling all over my words and tons of awkard stares.
Aw...heck.
Having someone who complements all your flaws, who excels where you lack...
For me it would have to be that someone remains level-headed despite my hysteria, who listens to my ramblings, whose undivded selflessness overshadows my conceitedness, someone who leads me along when I feel lost and defeated. In my stubborn attempts to resist the flow; fending off everyone and anyone; alienating myself in a thick fog of insecurity, mistrust, bitterness, animousity and apprehension.
Someone whose outlook on life seems to contradict all my former errected ceilings and boundaries. Someone who just appreciates life for the way it is. Someone who'll pick me up and show me the light at the end of the tunnel.
Whose hand fits just nice with mine, like two complementing pieces of a puzzle, opposite in everyway but fit together, form a beautiful whole picture.
Thank you.
Listen; The stars speak.
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
The Morning After.
*deep breath in*
Right! Where was I?
"You don't know how much you mean to me, whenever you're down you know that you can lean on me. No matter the situation. Boy, I'm gonna hold you down..."
Listen; The stars speak.
Saturday, May 07, 2005
Crooked
It is round so that but one can stand on the pinnacle of the globe and the rest can only slip down into the recesses.
It's tilted, like the opinions of the masses are biased and shallow, leaning towards one unified direction.
It revolves, much like how the people who live on it revolve around one singular force which ties them down like heavy iron shackles that bind around their feet.
It is unfair. Life is unfair.
It is designed such that while one man succeeds, another shall fail in his place.
While a baby is conceived, somewhere else an old man passes away.
While one man is too full to eat dessert, another rummages through his rubbish for an appetizer.
While one man's senses are fed the majesty of the world's splendors, another lies untouched, blind and death.
The man who hems the rob with velvet has never before worn such splendid clothes.
And two friends caught up in the momentum, in the spinning and the whirling.
One was tossed eastwards and another westwards.
I can't say I don't understand how it's like to like someone so much and yet he doesn't even seem to notice.
I don't know if it's worth it for you. You know that you're so much more above him; maybe the heartache and the tears are wasted on such an ignorant soul.
And I can't say I know how to be there for you either...
But I'll try;
That's what friends are for.
Listen; The stars speak.
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Spinning~
I mean we're like total opposites; two ends of the spectrum.
I was kinda afraid you guys would say something hurtful.
K, I know you guys would never say hurtful things.
But maybe think of something hurtful?
But what right do I have to get offended by your personal opinion...
I dunno.
That's why I was afraid I guess.
Listen; The stars speak.
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
